Nobody likes rejection, it always hurts a little. And no wonder, neuroscience shows that the areas of our brain that activate when we experience physical pain also activate when we experience rejection.

Job rejection can be particularly challenging because it feels so personal, but you can choose how you react to most situations, and you can do the same with this too.

Why you need feedback

Once you've got over the initial sting, it's time for action. Knowledge is power and once you know you haven't got the job, you should always ask for feedback whenever possible. Don't try and guess what could have been improved, ask them. It could mean the difference between you getting the next job you interview for or repeating the same mistake over and over again without realising it.

Where to focus

Maybe you didn't provide enough detail in your interview answers or maybe you didn't showcase your knowledge about the company enough. It could be literally any combination of things. Knowing what you need to improve is essential because it allows you to laser focus your energy. Other feedback may require a little more reflection so when you next prepping for an interview, try and get a mock interview set up beforehand so you can iron out any issues you may not be aware of. Why not get a friend to video you so you are aware of your body language and how you come across responding to certain interview questions?

How to ask for feedback

Approach asking for interview feedback with a really positive mindset, OK, I have been rejected this time but what can I take from this that is positive and will help me in the future? See the process as something constructive which will motivate you to do things differently. Don't be defensive or argumentative when you receive it even if you disagree with it; we all have blind spots and you are looking for insight, not a debate! Ask them to share where you could improve.

Don't burn your bridges!

If you interviewed with a dream employer, and have been rejected, they may still see you as a warm candidate, one that they could employ in the future so don't be disheartened if you fail the first time, show you are someone who really wants to grow and develop by asking for feedback and acting on it. Reach out to the interviewer afterwards, let them know that you enjoyed the opportunity to interview and would appreciate feedback about how you did. Explain that this is important to you as part of your professional development. Once you have your feedback, act on it! And don't forget, you're awesome and you've got loads going for you, a job rejection doesn't define you!

Suggested Reading

> How to ask for feedback after an interview
> How to ask for feedback after a rejection
> Focus on your strengths

By Anna Gordon - Certified Business Coaching Psychologist ABP CBCP